Arama They Didn't

2:06 pm - 09/08/2012

The state of kissing in Japan

TOKYO — There are all kinds of kissing all over the world, but traditionally, in Japan there has only been two kinds and they are the romantic kissing done by couples or kissing babies. Public displays of affection have always been frowned upon, and still generally are: a kiss on the lips is serious business.

The moment for a romantic kiss on any Japanese TV drama looks excruciatingly uncomfortable, especially in comparison to the ”eat each other up” passion of Western dramas. The “jidaigeki,” or Japanese period dramas, feature absolutely no kissing. With this in mind, SK Planet Japan did a survey on 400 20 to 30-year-old men and women to find out young Japanese people’s views on kissing — which is actually pretty interesting considering that kissing has always been an almost taboo subject.

It was found that 60% of the women polled had only kissed up to five people, signifying that experience in this arena is on the low side. By asking the question, “Have all your kisses led to a dating relationship?” it was found that 90% of the women questioned said “no.” In other words, more Japanese women are willing to kiss for no other reason but that they want to. The casual kiss has taken hold in Japan.

The results seem to point to the fact that kissing, for women, is not the big deal it used to be. A kiss used to mean a long-term promise, if not a bond lasting a lifetime. Of course, that notion would be considered out of date anywhere except in the more traditionally conservative circles in today’s Japan. Japanese women are learning to chill out over the kiss, though they still have discerning taste and won’t just kiss anyone.

Men were also found to be in the range of 88.2% when it came to taking part in kissing that didn’t actually lead to a relationship.

But wait. The statistics also go on to show that like the women, about 60% of the men have only kissed up to five people, which seems to imply a kiss is still something reserved for someone special.

This survey seems to say conflicting things. If a kiss is just a kiss, why are the Japanese kissing more people? Maybe the Japanese lack the finely honed instinct of knowing when to kiss, just like in the dramas.

In any case, cheers to SK Planet Japan for attempting this survey. Yes, the idea of kissing is no problem for the younger generation and men and women may not place much importance on a kiss anymore, but perhaps it is OK not to be so enamored by the joining of the lips.

source: japantoday

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squallina 8th-Sep-2012 09:24 am (UTC)
I find Western show kisses awkward because they look like they're trying to bite off and swallow each other's tongues. And I find Japanese show kisses equally awkward because they're always so random and unnatural. (The ones from Koi ni Ochitara and Tokujo Kabachi - those "girl is standing there, I'll race up to her and push my lips on to hers and she'll be so surprised" kisses - as well as the "I fell on top of her and our lips didn't just brush past each other, but actually locked into a pouty kissing position" kisses) :( Maybe I just don't like kiss scenes.
nalty7 8th-Sep-2012 09:28 am (UTC)
paoktsou 8th-Sep-2012 09:49 am (UTC)
come in greece and we'll show you how to kiss^^
kerplunk 8th-Sep-2012 10:38 am (UTC)

earenya_beryl 8th-Sep-2012 10:27 am (UTC)
My favourite kiss scene EVER~~!! would be between between Liv Tyler and Tome Everett Scott in front of the Hotel from 'That Thing You Do'. Now that is a good on screen kiss that have all the feelings and don't end up lewd.

I don't need those kind of kisses in Japanese drama's though, as it's not really imperative to the storyline. They like each other, *chaste kiss*, point get across to audience. That's enough I think.
kirakirastar 8th-Sep-2012 10:41 am (UTC)
That is one of my favorite kiss scenes AND movies EVER! I love you forever for bringing that up!
pandaranda 8th-Sep-2012 10:43 am (UTC)
I think the best J-drama(?) kiss I've ever watched was the Hana Yori Dango Final one during the wedding (because it was actually natural for once). All other J-drama kisses are excruciatingly awkward. D: Although some of the Nodame ones were surprisingly nice. XD
stbluemoon 8th-Sep-2012 12:30 pm (UTC)
dearmisterecho 8th-Sep-2012 10:52 am (UTC) I the only one who hates french kissing?

I just seriously don't get the point. I've tried it with every single one of my boyfriends/dudes I dated (so about....*counts*...I'm not sure, about 12-15?), and every single time it was just weird and nasty.

I love closed-mouth kisses, where you take little breaks to look at each other, smile, and keep going :3 d'aaaww those are great to me. No spit or awkward attempts at breathing.

oh and no comment on J-drama kisses, don't watch them.

Edited at 2012-09-08 10:53 am (UTC)
sukidesukara 8th-Sep-2012 12:42 pm (UTC)
I think you're doing it wrong.
You shouldn't have any trouble breathing and you shouldn't even be caring about spit. French kisses are about sending you over the moon! I suppose there's a mood for it though.
blahblah 8th-Sep-2012 11:01 am (UTC)
Hm... When I started to read this, I expected a poll more interesting, like, how much kisses do you give your partner a day, what it means to you, because I'm really curious about that. I only kissed 4 people my entire life (it's a low number if you're a brazilian), because it means for me something intimate to share with someone with whom I want a serious relationship. Now that I'm married, I kiss and I'm kissed by my husband everyday, many times a day, because it shows our love and care to each other. Since PDA is totally normal here in Brazil, we can kiss and hug anywhere, anytime.
I'd really want to know more about displays of affection in general in Japan. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, professing your love... it's a part of a daily relationship for a japanese? Or it's really taboo/too embarassing/an event like most dorama shows?
asth77 8th-Sep-2012 06:28 pm (UTC)
I heard it was taboo in Japan.
And then I got there, and I can't count the number of couples (especially young ones.... But that's pretty much everwhere) who showed a lot of affection in the streets, parks etc... And when I say a lot, well hmm I mean it.
saku062 8th-Sep-2012 11:29 am (UTC)
If we start a debate between Western and Japanese's drama kissing scene, then I don't like both.
Western's style are simply: GROSS! Every time I'm watching a kissing scene I can't help but roll my eyes because really, we don't need to seem them eating each other mouth to understand how much they're in love (also, the sounds! DO THEY REALLY NEED SO MUCH SOUND?! That's what gross for me >_<)

For Japanese's kissing scene, well I would prefer they do nothing at all because it's pretty much boring. The girl stands, the guy presses his lips...time seems to stop for one long minute and then black screen ¬¬ At least I would prefer a quick peck on the lips, it's sweeter and cuter and the audiance as well can feel the "surprise effect' of the scene.
French kisses are (in my opinion) reserved for intimate moment, like in the bed or when you cudde with your lover, not when you're in the middle of a public place.

Now it's really a matter regarding Japanese's culture. About this topic I really liked Kawabe Chieco's song "Sakura Kiss" when several couples from all ages where kissing, it wasn't particularly on the lips, but also on the cheeks or hands. It was very very cute and showed how this problem is seen in Japan.

(Eventhough, there was one kiss in Kimi wa petto that was really good ^^")
zombieroadtrip 8th-Sep-2012 11:43 am (UTC)
I can't stand the sounds of lips smacking either, lol. Even when they're not kissing, like in shows with really sensitive mics (soap operas are notoriously bad) all that wet... lip... noise just creeps me out.
inachan89 8th-Sep-2012 11:34 am (UTC)
lol Jdrama kisses are so awkward,totally unnatural!i don't find kissing such a big deal,i wouldn't kiss just anyone but if the mood is right,even if we don't date,why not?
crystalluvshun 8th-Sep-2012 03:52 pm (UTC)
I think it depends on which Jdramas because there are some kissing scenes in certain Jdramas which I thought were very good and seemed natural, they were not just a mere peck on the lips & neither were they so over the top to point that they seem like they want to eat each other's tongues.

But it is true that many kissing scenes in Jdramas are rather awkward & unnatural, mainly those that involve idol actors, because in Japan, they have this censorship on kissing scenes, especially those between idol actors.

zombieroadtrip 8th-Sep-2012 11:41 am (UTC)
lol so many Jdrama kisses are just awkwardly smooshing their closed mouths together and then standing there staring. Tbh, if you're kissing poorly, you're acting poorly. If your character is supposed to be showing they passionately care for another character and all you do is touch lips and stand perfectly still, that's lazy acting.
crystalluvshun 8th-Sep-2012 03:59 pm (UTC)
it's just that they have this censorship on kissing scenes in Japan especially when it involves idol actors, it probably coincides with the strict "innocent" image that Japanese idols are marketed out to be...however sometimes it also depends on the timeslot that these dramas are aired in. It's not so much that they are necessarily "bad" actors or "bad" kissers, they just have this weird censorship law in Japan on kissing scenes in dramas, which tends to implement restrictions on kissing scenes, mostly involving idol actors, so alot of these kissing scenes are rather awkward and merely simple pecks on the lips.

But there are certain kissing scenes in some Jdramas which I thought were good and seemed natural enough, obviously they were not affected by the censorship like most other romance Jdramas which required a kissing scene involving idol actors, so there has been some exceptions.

Edited at 2012-09-08 04:05 pm (UTC)
hpswf1 8th-Sep-2012 11:46 am (UTC)
I think I like kisses only in dramas with Kimura x) Like Pride or Sora Kara Furu. *_* Oh I like kiss in the opening in Nakai's "Saigo no Koi" *__*
As for Western's I like kisses in RW *_* this and
fumine 8th-Sep-2012 11:51 am (UTC)
"but perhaps it is OK not to be so enamored by the joining of the lips."

Sometimes I wish certain people here were less enarmored by it. >_> Nothing against couples who give each other a peck on the lips here and there, that's cute...but I can feel myself going aggro when I see a couple practically glued to each other by the lips, especially in places like restaurants. "We *kiss* are *kiss* so *kiss* in *kiss* love *kiss*, we *kiss* can *kiss* only *kiss* hold *kiss* a conversation *kiss* like *kiss* this *kiss kiss*." Please save that for a more private place and let me eat my food in peace, will you?

Be it Japanese or Western dramas, I enjoy neither kiss scenes. Can we get a middle ground, please? ^^'
chibi_hime 8th-Sep-2012 04:07 pm (UTC)
I love this gif. They totes deserve it...
kimiko1387 8th-Sep-2012 12:27 pm (UTC)
It's rare that'll I'll enjoy a kiss scene. The only one I can remember off the top of my head is the end of episode 8 in Long Vacation.

As for PDA kissing...meh, I'm not into it. I don't even really like holding hands in public.
elementree 8th-Sep-2012 12:59 pm (UTC)
I think my favorite j-drama kiss has to be Buzzer Beat between Keiko & Yamapi. At least it wasn't the boring usual kiss that is normally seen in a series. IT HAD PASSION! lol.
vinyaromeniel 8th-Sep-2012 01:07 pm (UTC)
THIS so much

Best j-drama kissing scene ever
iusta_rum 8th-Sep-2012 02:08 pm (UTC)
To me the worst kiss scene in a Jdrama was that kiss between Jun Matsumoto and a girl who is a really bad actress and i dont know her name in Kimi wa petto.

The best to me was Hana Yori Dango. Mao & Jun Kiss scene was really good!
rainbow_yarn 8th-Sep-2012 05:59 pm (UTC)
If you're talking about Ishihara Satomi in Kimi wa Petto, then yes, she didn't do so well in that drama, and yes, their kiss was all awkward (although I think it was meant to be so). If you're talking about Koyuki, though, NO, she's fabulous, and no, I think they did a rather good job kissing. Even with MatsuJun's massive sausage lips.
kate_firefly 8th-Sep-2012 03:32 pm (UTC)
it's really rare to see a good kissing scene in a japanese drama (HK dramas, too, but they're getting better). it's awkward for the actors, it's awkward for us. western drama's kissing scenes are much better, and they're not all tongue kisses. they can have really sweet, gentle kisses, too!
bag_woman 8th-Sep-2012 03:47 pm (UTC)
so red!

Edited at 2012-09-08 03:49 pm (UTC)
ohprecioustime 8th-Sep-2012 03:57 pm (UTC)
spam alert, lol

I love the shifty eyes tho
ohprecioustime 8th-Sep-2012 03:59 pm (UTC)
Jdrama kisses suck, I would rather they hug and stare at each other than those awkward kisses

anyway I don't think kissing is a big deal, but I don't like watching people make out in front of me really ever
chibi_hime 8th-Sep-2012 04:06 pm (UTC)
I honestly never thought about this topic before, but now am quietly sitting and comparing.

Personally, I hate PDA! So I loved the fact that I can walk down the streets of Japan without seeing it. Nothing is more awkward than sitting next to a couple on the subway as they try to claw each other naked.

On the other hand, does this mean that the Japanese are less affectionate with each other even in private? I remember listening to K-chan NEWS and a listener asked how many kisses a day they would want from their wives. And one of them answered 3: a kiss before going to work, once he got home and a goodnight kiss. Let's be real, if I ever land a man as hot as a Japanese idol, there WILL BE a lot more than 3 kisses a day!
fumine 8th-Sep-2012 05:57 pm (UTC)

^ Every word of this comment so much
nashe21 8th-Sep-2012 06:12 pm (UTC)
title or description

This gif makes me believe that Kame is a good kisser on/off screen :P

(c) katberriesdailydosed@tumblr

Edited at 2012-09-08 06:14 pm (UTC)
andreeupandaway 8th-Sep-2012 11:39 pm (UTC)
this was the first ever kiss scene I've ever seen when I came discovered j-dramas...and I loved it.
shuuyushuu 8th-Sep-2012 09:01 pm (UTC)
i honestly like some of the awkward out of no where kisses it's funny to me but i do prefer the sweet intimate ones that doesnt involve a dude trying to eat a girls face off
natsukosam 23rd-Sep-2012 01:37 pm (UTC)
I don't mind the awkward ones except when their married. It's like why is this married couple so awkward with each other like this is a first date? O_o
shiro_renja 8th-Sep-2012 09:17 pm (UTC)
i've kissed both western and japanese guys...and I have to admit...Japanese guys were better at kissing and didn't feel awkward like in those drama. Actually, they were more spontanious and passionate....where as western guys was kinda obvious and
blackbird_num9 20th-Sep-2012 10:29 pm (UTC)
nice_vibe 8th-Sep-2012 10:11 pm (UTC)
I love passionate, open-mouthed kisses tbh. Those pecks on the lips in Jdramas and Kdramas just seem kind of awkward.
lanysakurai 8th-Sep-2012 11:07 pm (UTC)
I feel uncomfortable watching the awkward J-drama kisses and the "I'm going to touch your tonsils" western kisses, either way.

But I wanted to kiss a japanese guy to see how they really kiss...
queencrystallia 9th-Sep-2012 05:17 am (UTC)
u so damned right -__- it is the same here
stole_away 9th-Sep-2012 02:10 am (UTC)
I like Japan cos there is no PDA, in my country, there are always couples making out in the train or hugging and everything -.-
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