Arama They Didn't

1:29 pm - 12/30/2012

Feeling you shouldn’t have dumped her (poll/ranking)

Not a very festive note to end the year on, but I liked the topic of this goo Ranking, into the moments when one realises one still has feelings for their ex, for both women and their ex-boyfriends and men and their ex-girlfriends.

Demographics



Between the 5th and 7th of November 2012 1,049 members of the goo Research monitor group completed a private internet-based questionnaire. 58.8% of the sample were female, 10.2% in their teens, 14.6% in their twenties, 27.5% in their thirties, 25.1% in their forties, 11.0% in their fifties, and 11.7% aged sixty or older. Note that the score in the results refers to the relative number of votes for each option, not a percentage of the total sample.

I’ve never had the experience of this myself, but I remember one time putting my foot in it with a rather tactless email to a friend about his ex which probably put him in situation number 8 for the men. I’m not going to tell you the details, however, at least not in a space where my mother is listening!

The difference in roles in Japanese society is highlighted by comparing the female #11, a hidden high salary, to the male #12, hidden housework skills. A recent survey (which I should really translate!) highlighted that 51% of Japanese men thought basically that the woman’s place is in the kitchen.

Ranking results

Q1: What moments make you realise you still have feelings for your ex-boyfriend? (Sample size=617, female) (rank & score)

1 When I feel the pain of being unable to find a kindred spirit like my ex 100
2 When I bump into my ex and see he’s become drop-dead gorgeous 96.2
3 When I realise that I hadn’t noticed that my ex was my precious emotional support 83.7
4 When I see my ex and his new girlfriend starting to give off the air of a good match 63.0
5 When I realise my ex has more good points than my current boyfriend 62.0
6 When I see my ex looking really happy with his new girlfriend 50.5
7 When I find out one of my friends has her eye on my ex 49.5
8 When I bump into my ex in the street and I get all excited when I talk 45.7
9 When I find out that my ex is really popular with the in crowd 43.8
10 When I find out that my ex is going up in the world 31.7
11 When I find out that although he hid it from me, my ex has a high salary 28.8
12 When I get turned down by another guy 24.0
13 When I realise that my ex never once got lippy with me 20.7
14 When I find out that although he hid it from me, my ex is from a well set-up family 19.2
15 When my ex took getting dumped in his stride, and still keeps in touch as before 18.3


Q2: What moments make you realise you still have feelings for your ex-girlfriend? (Sample size=432, male) (rank & score)

1 When I bump into my ex and see she’s become drop-dead gorgeous 100
2 When I feel the pain of being unable to find a kindred spirit like my ex 75.0
3 When I realise that I hadn’t noticed that my ex meant the world to me 62.0
4 When I see my ex and her new boyfriend starting to give off the air of a good match 43.5
5 When I realise my ex has more good points than my current girlfriend 42.6
6 When I bump into my ex in the street and I get all excited when I talk 41.7
7 When I get turned down by another girl 31.5
8 When I find out one of my friends has his eye on my ex 30.6
9 When my ex took getting dumped in her stride, and still keeps in touch as before 26.9
10 When I find out that my ex is really popular with the in crowd 24.1
11 When I see my ex looking really happy with her new boyfriend 21.3
12 When I find out that my ex is a star at cooking, other housework 16.7
13 When I get dumped by my current girlfriend 15.7
14 When I find out that my ex is going up in the world 12.0
15 When I find out that although she hid it from me, my ex has a high salary 11.1



source + google

i think this is pretty interesting. what do you think, arama? do you think you're the type of person to miss your ex? are you that type?
katsuno_hitomi 30th-Dec-2012 06:49 pm (UTC)
Having never had an ex, I can't say for certain. I have been in unrequited love, though.
a_cheshire_grin 30th-Dec-2012 06:55 pm (UTC)
When I feel the pain of being unable to find a kindred spirit like my ex 100

When I bump into my ex and see she’s become drop-dead gorgeous 100

What a difference! lol
rainbow_yarn 30th-Dec-2012 08:58 pm (UTC)
ikr -_-
fancifury 30th-Dec-2012 07:14 pm (UTC)
12 When I get turned down by another guy 24.0

yuppppp
inachan89 30th-Dec-2012 08:19 pm (UTC)
Boy/girl,if you were in only for the money,good thing you're not together anymore lol
Most of the reasons sound egoistic,but understandable,hey we are humans XD
rainbow_yarn 30th-Dec-2012 08:55 pm (UTC)
A lot of these sound like personal gain sort of answers. Kindred spirit is one thing; drop-dead gorgeous, popular with the in-crowd, or high salaried is another...
haruno21 30th-Dec-2012 09:46 pm (UTC)
this.
deermice 30th-Dec-2012 11:57 pm (UTC)
The worst part is the guy's top answer was the 'drop-dead gorgeous' thing...as if that matters most.
very_pinku 30th-Dec-2012 09:13 pm (UTC)
Haven't had a ex yet but I would say it would be losing someone who actually put up with my flaws and liked me for who I am.
Not many people can seriously do that so I'll miss that kind of emotional support...
xanithofdragons 30th-Dec-2012 09:41 pm (UTC)
I figure most break-ups happen because the couple just weren't right for each other.
haruno21 30th-Dec-2012 09:44 pm (UTC)
I´ve never ever regretted dumping someone.

I had my good reasons, even if the reason was boredom, I wont step twice with the same stone, tyvm
rainbow_yarn 31st-Dec-2012 06:05 pm (UTC)
with you 100% there
dearmisterecho 1st-Jan-2013 06:02 am (UTC)
lol this x1000
tegositi 30th-Dec-2012 10:33 pm (UTC)
I've broken up with my bf for almost 4 months and I still have feeling for him :/ I've tried to forget him by deleting all his messages, photos, contact numbers and even blocked his facebook but every time I'm alone I often miss him :|
electricsoulnt 30th-Dec-2012 10:44 pm (UTC)
never been in a relationship before but it took me about 1 to 1 1/2 years to finally getting over someone (after I finally put my foot down and decided to stop hoping.) I hope all will be well for you :) missing them sucks at times.
shixon 31st-Dec-2012 12:39 am (UTC)
don't have an ex, but my friend recently broke up with her boyfriend of one year and it really sucks to see her hurting :( and it's scary to think it can take a long time to move on from someone...
sheda_kun 31st-Dec-2012 07:29 am (UTC)
I had this experience of dating a senior during high school time (for only 1-2 months). Even after break up, we remained good friends and sometimes kind of we're still in a r/ship. We got jealous of each other, giving love letters etc. After he finished school, I felt all lonely that I missed him every single days, I couldn't see other guys. We're still in contact by time to time but not as intimate as before. Then it took me 3, almost 4 yrs to totally forgot abt him and the memories. Completely.

I think what hold me back those times because we're friends and can still maintain the r/ship even after break up. I became good friends with his close friends until now. Now to think abt it, I'm glad I made the decision back then ^^
placetohide 1st-Jan-2013 10:21 am (UTC)
When I find out that although he hid it from me, my ex has a high salary

Woooww, to everyone who answered this:
Hah, no wonder they wouldn't tell you, since obviously you're a superficial person who only would've stayed with him for the money. I don't blame those guys.
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