Arama They Didn't

3:10 pm - 02/13/2013

Top 10 Things Single Japanese Women Want from a Man

According to a study conducted by the National Institute of Population and Social Security Research, about half of unmarried women report that they are not dating anyone with any serious intent. Why are so many available ladies completely unattached? Could it be that they just don’t see the appeal of having a partner? Or conversely, maybe they are holding out for an unrealistic Prince Charming.

Goo Rankings decided to look into the issue and asked the single ladies what they would ideally want a boyfriend to do for them, if they had one. The surprising answers after the break:

The answer most commonly given was, “He wouldn’t have to do anything in particular, just be there for me when I’m lonely.” On nights alone in our rooms or days off without any particular plans, we’ve all felt a sudden loneliness, so that’s hardly surprising.

The second most popular answer was, “When I’m tired or sad, I would want him to just take me in his arms without saying a word.” OK, now they’re asking for a little bit of mind reading, but still, if all you need is someone’s comforting presence, that’s not too high a demand.

Number three is “I would want him to take me to lots of nice places.” This one seems pretty normal too. With beautiful and romantic seasonal events like cherry blossom viewing in the spring and firework festivals in the summer always packed with couples, what single doesn’t wish for a partner on their arm?

From here on, the list gets a little more needy. Here are numbers four through ten:

4. I would want him to quietly and attentively listen to my complaints about daily life.
5. I would want him to take care of me when I get sick.
6. I would want him to sneak up behind me and suddenly give me a hug.
7. I would want him to play with my hair.
8. I would want him to cover me with a blanket when I fall asleep.
9. When we’re out and about, I would want him to hold my hand and walk close to me.
10. I would want him to arrange surprises for me.

Hmm, to each their own, I suppose, but if the number one thing you want from a partner is a blanket and some tissues when you get sick, you might want hire a nurse instead.

What do you think, readers? Does this list seem about right to you or like a case of bad expectations?

Source: Goo Rankings, rocketnews24

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agirlsgarden 13th-Feb-2013 11:12 pm (UTC)
Oh no, heaven forbid you want your boyfriend to show a little kindness when you're sick.

Judging from another recent poll (, and the language of this post, I'm not surprised Japanese ladies aren't into dating these guys.
helenmaldon 14th-Feb-2013 02:34 am (UTC)
Seriously! Why was the language of the article so snarky about pretty normal, mild requests? Like god forbid you ask your boyfriend to pass you a tissue!
miuratenshi 13th-Feb-2013 11:15 pm (UTC)
I don't think any of these are bad expectations, tbh.
ptimachan 13th-Feb-2013 11:27 pm (UTC)
yh exactly they just want things that happens in dramas.
I think its reasonable
a_cheshire_grin 13th-Feb-2013 11:45 pm (UTC)
Some of these wishes sound like something that would most likely happen in a drama, but others should be "standard", when you're in a relationship, like:

He wouldn’t have to do anything in particular, just be there for me when I’m lonley.


I would want him to quietly and attentively listen to my complaints about daily life.
itskimbitches 13th-Feb-2013 11:59 pm (UTC)
Where's "that dick"? Irrelevant list
kochan_addict 14th-Feb-2013 12:24 am (UTC)
Sounds like normal wants and needs to me.
And as long as the list is mutual (aka the women are willing to do the same for the men), than I'd call it a healthy relationship.
Taking care of each other and being there for each other is how you do it. Or at least, that's how I've been doing it.
So far, it works.
lb_x 14th-Feb-2013 12:33 am (UTC)
but if the number one thing you want from a partner is a blanket and some tissues when you get sick, you might want hire a nurse instead.

A lot of woman have to drop everything to take care of a sick husband or child, it shouldn't be unreseasonable to expect the same from a partner ...
rainbow_yarn 14th-Feb-2013 09:19 am (UTC)
this this this this this

I know so many female teachers who have to ask for days off school so that they can take care of sick kids. I've also seen several teachers leave work parties early because they want to go home and be with their families. I think it's totally reasonable to ask the same of a partner.
45s 14th-Feb-2013 12:37 am (UTC)
This is boyfriend 101. What are those doods doing over there??!
miko_nyappy 14th-Feb-2013 03:40 am (UTC)
Exactly!! Mostly everything sounded like a normal relationship for me as long as it's reciprocated. I don't get what's wrong with hand holding in public :/
xanithofdragons 14th-Feb-2013 01:20 am (UTC)
None of these sound far beyond normal. A lot of these things show up in romance stories in Japan, so it's hardly unusual for women to want them...

None of it sounds the least bit needy. If they're talking about ideals, they could've had much higher ideals.
lanysakurai 14th-Feb-2013 01:24 am (UTC)
These people don't wanna a boyfriend, they want a therapist/mother.
rainbow_yarn 14th-Feb-2013 09:20 am (UTC)
or maybe they want an understanding partner
myharu 14th-Feb-2013 01:50 am (UTC)
I don't think anything is wrong with this list, but I would like to add "doesn't constantly make fun of my fails when we play co-op together" bc that's what I assume my relationship will revolve around, co-op play in video games...
sergel02 14th-Feb-2013 05:00 am (UTC)
lol +100 for this.
(no subject) - Anonymous
shueisha 14th-Feb-2013 03:58 am (UTC)
They might not necessarily be asleep in bed. A person could be at their desk working when they doze off.
tomoeicemaiden 14th-Feb-2013 03:54 am (UTC)
add "must provide oral sex a few times a week"
rainbow_yarn 14th-Feb-2013 01:43 pm (UTC)
shueisha 14th-Feb-2013 03:59 am (UTC)
I don't see anything that screams "needy" to me. Sounds like standard fare actually.
Yama Take 14th-Feb-2013 05:45 am (UTC)
Allow me to translate the real meaning of items 1 - 10:

They want a guy with cash, & the want him to be considerate enough to let them spend it.

A perfectly reasonable desire I suppose.

btw, I do the blanket thing for my wife if she falls asleep watching tv.
rainbow_yarn 14th-Feb-2013 09:22 am (UTC)
most of these have nothing to do with money

I don't get you
yami_no_hoshi 14th-Feb-2013 12:42 pm (UTC)
all of these are completely reasonable requests...the source makes them seem unusual or high maintenance but they seem basic to me
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